To hear the coroner notifying you about the death of a loved one is always a shock. Sometimes this act may reveal childhood memories, like rooms long since, closed and sealed off. Breaking these seals, finding these memories again, would soon herald in my own personal journey of atonement, the consequence of self-sacrifice, the importance of forgiveness and redemption, and most of all, the significance of love.

The news from the coroner related the demise of my older brother Alan. News, so harsh that it felt like my entire family had been, wiped out all at once. We were latch key kids and in good times Alan was my friend as well as my protector in our troubled times. He was also a role model in my life, so much so, that I had more of a bond with him, than I did towards my own parents. Of course, I was, informed of what happened, and how his death happened. However, if I were ever to make sense of such a loss and return meaning to my world then I would have to understand why it happened.

As I went backwards though our lives; backwards through time; looking for answers, one thing was clear, the alcohol and the drugs were always there… since adolescence. I had been holding onto many weird memories, scenes really, scenes that initially made no sense at all. I had been doing so - all of my life, watching, observing, and letting my mind file away weird conversations and encounters, which by now had become an enormous quantity. My instincts told me to keep packing them away as they happened, as best as possible, all in the hope that someday, one or two might offer a significant amount of reason or insight so that I could unlock and understand them all.

I had tried to talk about our past, our childhood encounters with my brother. After all, he was central and entangled right through them as well. However, his response was either, “Why bother, I’m not interested in digging up the past so why should you be?” or “They don’t bother me, so why should you let them bother you?”

It essentially took me ten months, to find or grasp this first piece of the puzzle. Alan was so troubled by the abuse he suffered during our childhood that he would rather die than confront it; my brother had actually decided that the best way to regain control over his life was to, at least, enact his own exit.

However, this was only the first of many interlocking pieces. I would eventually learn of how I grew up in the midst of a cult, and I knew early on that this was not just any cult. There is always more to our stories, hidden between the lines, the depictions of accidents, suicides, and violence. Now for the first time in my life, I understood how they have disguised their manipulations, experiments, and killings within the headlines of every day tragedies.

By growing up among them, I was, granted revelations or secrets concerning a more evolved race of humanity and how their superior abilities breed superior ambitions. For the most part, I would describe their core ambition as a self-appointed right to rule.

They claimed they are destined to rule over not just some of the people some of the time, but some day, all of the people all of the time. To first, rule over us in this part of the country then to, expand and rule over all of humanity. They also believe that there are no morals created that apply to them, especially in light of what has been happening in this world for over a millennium. They believe that there is only one right, the right of the superior to rule over the inferior. Superior ambition soon gives rise to superior importance, which fosters a belief that it is okay to use other people to get what you want in life.

All organizations require effort, of some sort, to bind everyone together. Control over certain illicit commodities, or a vice such as sex, is vital. This organization proliferates by using all forms of sex, spanning all ages, to consolidate and satisfy their membership. They often use sex as a means for assimilation or more specifically, sex as a basis for bringing people with different moral values closer together.

As their secrets bind this collective together, it is only natural for some of its inductees to repress their torment and anguish. Soon this cult’s greatest strength becomes secrecy. Their best weapon isn’t a gun, a knife, or murder; it’s the ability to induce endless terror and confusion, resulting in secrecy. In addition, they maneuver drug deals or sexual liaisons into weapons of blackmail. Soon escape from such a group becomes impossible, as they ingrain a code of silence, all-powerful and assimilating.

By now, I knew I was up against an unbelievable power structure, one that was acutely deviant and where any dissidence is, exercised by threats of violence or death to the followers or their loved ones. Many people view the devil as one person with a plan, but evil, true evil is a collaboration of man.

Over the last twenty years, I also came to realize that distance; time and thought are not the separate entities we believe them to be. I came to realize that, there might be far more truth to certain legends, folk lore, and prophecies than we all realize.

My struggle to endure was only half of my battle. After the encounters of my past, unlocked or came into focus, a new problem emerged. It was how to explain the many supernatural acts and occult secrets that I faced. This soon became the second part of my journey. I had no choice but to reflect upon certain aspects of life in profoundly different ways! Life imitates art, and art imitates life and on occasion, some stories deserve to be, viewed as epics.

“Dear God, where to begin? At the beginning, perhaps,” as Lewis Carroll once wrote.

Diary of an Avatar

 ​​Introduction

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Diary of an Avatar

  Diary of an Avatar is a Canadian memoir available worldwide thru Amazon books

Diary of an Avatar - More Insight

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If the make believe accounts depicted in Dan Brown’s The Divinci Code made you question the roles of women as well as the secrets of the church, then this real life account of mysticism, startling accurate events of divination toward future events, mind control, and Pagan magic will do the same as well. You may come to realize how we have been, lied to, or deceived by many who should have known better. 


Along the way of this epic journey, our Avatar crossed paths with Mr. Len Hougue the Vancouver cop who shot his wife and six kids and Luc Jouret who was the Solar Temple cult leader responsible for the deaths of dozens of his followers. This was, followed by a chance encounter with one of Clifford Olsen's victims named Judy Kosma as well as Darren Huenemann and his two buddies - just hours after they bludgeoned his mother to death. Things weren’t all bad for this avatar since he met and befriended people who became rich and famous. For instance, he met a couple of well-known Hollywood movie stars, and two NHL hockey pros. 


Since this is still a continuing epic, the reader, you as the public will have the final say on how long our teenagers will be experimented with. From my encounters, the authorities don’t seem very concerned at the present. If you’ve ever lost a teen or a family member in unusual circumstances, where things just don’t add up, then this is a story for you.